i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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