if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
