Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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