Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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