turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
