dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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