im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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