ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
