dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
