You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
