But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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