I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I did not marry a roomba.
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