and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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