Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
