I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
