Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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