I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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