Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
