You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
