how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
