i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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