i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
