Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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