i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize