It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
