You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
