All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
