just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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