But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
