I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to cum in my sink.
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