there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
