Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
