i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
