Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
