Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
