just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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