I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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