i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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