Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
