And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
