You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
