Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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