If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize