was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
