I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
