Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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