Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
