I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
