Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
