im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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