Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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