not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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