I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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