her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
