Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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