I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
