im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
