Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
