it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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