Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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