ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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